• catrionaocurry

Reflections on Wholeness

Updated: Jul 9, 2020

"In order for us each to awaken to our individual purpose, we have to let down our defenses. When we do, we become more present to our thoughts, emotions and bodies. To be aware in this way is to be empowered, to be grounded in the earth’s life force, and to be more naturally connected to one another. Once aware of the emotional and energetic realms, learning becomes embodied knowing. Moreover, an expansion takes place in our minds and hearts, enabling us to feel the connection we have always had, to what eco-psychologists call the ‘web of life’. One's true purpose is aligned with this universal support system". Catriona O’Curry, Circa 2006.

I wrote this as part of an article for a now defunct magazine called Synergy when I lived on Quadra Island in British Columbia. I came across it recently when world events had begun to erode my thin skin and I was getting ready to become a hermit again...

I do this periodically. I find it too harsh out there in the world, so I retreat. I know there are others like me. I've met a few, thank the heavens and the trees, and the creatures and all my relations.... (Not just the ones who are blood related. They wouldn't suffice. They just think I'm weird!).

I mean ALL MY RELATIONS, as in "Mitakuye Oyasin"*. Yes, thank you to my brothers and sisters who are human and those who are not. Thank you to the fairies and the angels, the cats, dogs, monkeys, parrots, swallows, bees, seagulls, trees, roses, peas, frogs and fish, deer and Wolves, Hawks and even the snakes, though it pains me to say so... But more about that association later on...

Thank you to those kindred spirits that I've encountered and to those not yet encountered and even some I may never encounter in any tangible form..... for your equally thin-skinned loving kindnesses, your gifts of recognition and welcome, and simply for your soul-filled eyes of knowing ... your warm, psychic embraces.... horses and crows, Birches and Rowans... Crabapples and Forget-me-nots.... You, the butterfly who landed on my shirt on the day it dawned on me I was coming out of my stinky mush at long last, and that the world too, is emerging into it's Butterfly phase, if invisibly...

Unless you look:

"The world is full of magic, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper". WB Yeats

A work in progress

Now about snakes.... I have a rather unfortunate association with them. As a matter of fact, just now, I began to cough rather violently as I began to recollect.... Perhaps it's too soon... to tell about the time, when partway into a Documentary Film project I had a dream about snakes... "I had come down from a Higher Ridge, where my friends were, to see what was in the valley below... it looked like sticks and old Saguaro Cactus Skeletons... until I was among them, and it was too late. They were not inert, but moving! They were Rattlesnakes. Only they made no sound... Breathlessly, I slipped to the ground and played dead. Two of them approached. I somehow knew the one on my left was female, the one on my right, a male. The male one used his forked tongue to feel all around my closed my mouth and nose, and I hardly breathed.... then I woke up".

I subsequently discovered, when our neighbourhood firefighters helped to trap a full grown one in our back yard, that Rattlesnakes have evolved, at least in the Sonoran Desert where I lived for ten years, to not make the very noise that warns of their presence... Because it could be their undoing... And as much as we fear them, they're needed in our balancing act of an eco-system.... Alas!

There occurred several other synchronistic events linking Rattlesnakes with the project I was participating in... and I am only now beginning to be able to tell about these events without condemning poor poisonous snakes to a place outside of "All my relations"....

It's been several years now and my hurt, anger, grief, trauma and fear have subsided enough to bring these shards of scattered memories back into my sense of self, as parts of my wholeness. If all my relations must include all of the scorpions and stinging, biting wounding creatures, then I must integrate, face my horror of them, into my psyche. How can I embrace all my relations if I reject and hate some of those who have harmed me? I can just about begin to glimpse that theirs was indeed sacred medicine, a part of some Divine plan to encourage me toward more wholeness.. As long as I reject these bits, and others... (like those family members, or others who echo their irritating traits, who seem to be blind to my loveliness!), then I will be lacking in strength. My power lies in my integrity. My integrity lies in my ability to embrace the shadowy parts that I confine to the dungeons of my despairing victimhood.

The thing is though, we're not victims. We're co-creators with the Divine.... I keep forgetting this. I hope that me sharing these reflections can help some others who seek to find their own blind spots... We need others to point them out. Which others are doing all the time!

Suggestion: Pick anyone who hooks you. Anyone come to mind who triggers you? How about our Ultimate Emperor with no clothes? As long as any of us reject Donald Trump, seeing him as someone who is persecuting us, someone we could never ever resemble, then we're going to lack the power to overcome him.... I'm not saying I've got this thing down! I'm suggesting that I'd be willing to travel with you, alongside you, by writing about my own unfinished wholeness. And need it be said that it will never end, this becoming more whole?

I'd like to invite others (I accidentally typed Otters, and their playful selves would be welcome too!), because I can not do this thing alone. I want this project to be about evolving conversations... Synergistic dialogs about what is emerging in our world, from this pandemic, this crazy upside down heartbreaking, potentially heart-opening world.... So I'm beginning to talk with others who are interested...

Do leave your comments in the comments section. Be patient with me. I'm not keen on technology, and I might return to my hermit-crab-cave periodically, when it all becomes too much to process in public.

Food for thought: I think we're in the process of birthing ourselves into a new version of humanity. I'm not the only one. Carl Jung thought so. And there are many today. A few that come to mind: Michael Meade, Barbara Marx Hubbard, James O'Dea, Charles Eisenstein, Jean Shinoda Bolen, ... Who wrote "Gather the Women, Save the world"... A phrase that's been haunting my thoughts lately....

*The Lakota phrase, Mitakuye Oyasin, or “All My Relations” is a worldview of interconnectedness and oneness that deserves attention during these difficult times. Listen to Unci Rita as she shares what this precious prayer means to her and the ways she was taught to honor it. Mitakuye Oyasin (All My Relations) -,the%20ways%20she%20was%20taught%20to%20honor%20it.

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