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How to Become Whole in an Age of Insanity

I used to be a psychotherapist, a counsellor, but that didn't work out for me. I outgrew that role many years ago and became ill because, what with the financial crisis and so on I thought I had no choice but to soldier on.... That, and an old dynamic from my childhood that I dutifully brought into my marriage involving jumping in and trying to save the day when I panicked, burned me out over time, and I decided to retire from my role to pursue.... What exactly? Finding my True Self, I suppose we could call it. I didn't have a choice here either, because my body kept falling apart every time I took a wrong turn. Sound familiar? I think there are many of us women and men and all other genders who were groomed to be heroes and heroines of someone else's story. Attempting to fulfil someone else's unfulfilled dreams... will only lead to burn out in the end... Best to not wait until the end... So a lot of my blogs will be about suggestions, or what I have found to work for me, but some of it may well be more along the lines of, "don't do what I did!", "don't wait until it's too late", or some such recommendation.... that's all this is, but I feel compelled to offer it up, and if it helps others to light their own torch in this upside down, inside out world of ours, then I'll really be chuffed!

I'm not going to preach, but I must warn readers that I do get passionate (according to my astrologist friends, I have 4 planets in Sagittarius and an Aries rising, so I'd implode if I tried to suppress my fire!). Also, I'm a total rebel, so the fact that the old institutions are being called into question right now, and some of them are beginning to crumble, is actually exciting to me. I feel as if I've been preparing for these times for the past half a century... And may finally have something to offer humanity in a way that, in comparison, my previous job seems like it was just paying lip service. So if you find irreverence refreshing and you aspire to become the best, strongest Self you can in your lifetime, then perhaps this will be a good place for you to visit.... Some days I'll get angry and rage about the patriarchy or the mainstream medical system (same thing these days?!!), the YANG or Masculine way of always having to commodify everything you do, thus spiritually by-passing the essential ingredients for healing, strengthening, grounding, and becoming whole, IN MY HUMBLE opinion! I guess I could have named my blog I.M.H.O (in my humble opinion), but I'm still working on the H. Sometimes I get triggered by some Janey come lately who says she has all the answers to something it has taken me decades to realise, and she's young enough to be my daughter, or my goddaughter (cause I have some of those). And sometimes she's absolutely right! So that's the H bit... still working on it.

We are all works in progress. Oh, by the way,I use a lot of clichés because they're simple.

I try to write the way I sound. But I actually prefer dialogue to monologue... which brings me to my next project:

I'm inspired to do a podcast with a friend who says she's thinking about it. She's in Mexico and she reads Akashic records, is quite talented at interpreting horoscope charts, calligraphy, acupuncture (she owned an acupuncture school with her husband, who wrote a book on acupuncture), writing, and being a trickster. Which reminds, me, I must tell her that she says she's in her 6th decade, but I'll have to break it to her that as soon as you embark on your 60's, you are in fact entering your SEVENTH decade! So, I am therefor on the homestretch to 60, more than halfway into my sixth decade. OMG! What I want to write about in my blogs, and talk about in my podcasts that I hope will be dynamic conversations...is BEAUTY, ...

Whenever I searched for what I might "DO", now there's a masculine term, that would bring me pleasure and joy, all I could ever come up with were certain words or elements that feel good to me when I think about them: flowers, colour, texture, spaces, homes, architecture, atmosphere, nourishment, hosting, gathering friends, facilitating conversations, creating art, harmony, community, ...

Apparently, my North Node is in Cancer. Cancer is the house of family, community, the home, belonging, etc... Your North Node is sort of like your True North. Well, it's taken me the better part of 6 decades to feel more at home in my self. I've collected experiences, images, sounds, people, words, films, and recipes that have helped me to find my home within my self and in my outer world. It's not what I might have planned or expected 40 years ago, or even 30, 20 or 10! It doesn't look like the idealised images I held in my psyche, that kept me stuck and created tension in my body and soul.... I hope that this - what I have learned - might be useful to you, wherever your North Node is located in the galaxy...


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